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Want to Change your Debilitating Emotional Patterns? Try the P.A.L.M. Method

The P.A.L.M Method is a Emotional Intelligence (EQ) tool that helps us shift, manage and change our debilitating emotional patterns.

We all know the dis-empowering emotions that we experience in our life. That could be anger, sadness, anxiety, depression.

This EQ technique develops your self-awareness so you can take steps to understanding your emotional patterns.,

Once you begin to begin to recognize these patterns you can then take control by choosing the appropriate emotion that that you want.

How it works.

First Step:
Using the method to recognize our debilitating emotional patterns.

When you are experiencing an certain emotion take a moment and stop and notice, let’s use “Sad” as our emotion.

  • P (Physical): How is your physical body reacting, what’s your posture like when you feel sad. Perhaps your shoulders slouched, head hanging forward.
  • A (Attention): Where are your thoughts going, what are you focusing on? Is your mind thinking about the past, or the future? What you could have said, what you didn’t say?
  • L (Language): What kind of language are you using? What are you saying to people or yourself? Do you often say how your feeling “I’m sad” reinforcing this disempowering emotion?
  • M (Meaning): What kind of meaning or belief are you creating about yourself, other people or the world when you are feeling sad?

Next Step:
Using the method now to change and re-pattern you debilitating emotions into more empowering ones.

Let’s choose a positive emotion now. Let’s use “Happiness”.

  • P (Physical): How would your body posture look like when you are feel happy? Perhaps your shoulders are down, heart is more open, you’re smiling. So if you’re feeling sad try engaging in, and changing your posture to the happy one, even if you need to fake it at first. This will change how you are feeling, moving you from feeling sad towards happy. Another thing to try is to actually go and do something physical, like going for a walk, do some exercise.It’s breaking that pattern,.
  • A (Attention): So if you are focusing on the the past? What you could have said, what you didn’t say? Now you want to redirect your attention to what’s happening right now. What you are grateful for, or it could mean you might call a friend, go outside and change your visual attention.
  • L (Language): So instead of saying “I’m sad” change your language to “how would I feel if I was happy.” Use happy words through your day. You’re not trying to force a positive emotion to squish down the present one. It’s more like a transition from one to the other. It may happen quickly, or take a few hours, or days. Focusing on the process of recalling the happy emotion is what begins the shift. Remind yourself this feeling is only temporary, things will shift. Take about things you like, positive things, recall what you are grateful for.
  • M (Meaning): Find meaning in small actions like making a “pick me tea”. What meaning is created when you chatted with your friend? Remind yourself of the beliefs you have about yourself, people and the world when you have experienced feeling happy. What’s your outlook on life like? By taking steps to changing your emotional state you begin to create new meanings.

Now you don’t have to do all of this every time. I am a strong believer that small steps make big changes.

I suggest trying just one of the letters P.A.L.M. it can still make a huge difference. Starting with perhaps the P and see how it changes things, and go from their.

Remember you are in control, you have the power in every situation. So work at a pace that is best for you.

I hope you enjoy it. Please share with anyone who you feel might need it.

Thanks for listening.

Blessings to you all,
Jennifer