Why I do What I Do, My Story
My path started when I was in my 30’s as a personal journey for self discovery and healing. I too wanted to figure out why I navigated my world through fear, worry and doubt, and lacked the confidence to do the things that would help me fulfill my dreams.
So I know what feeling afraid and worried is like, I’ve been there and even at times still go there. I am human just like you, at time I still experience those strong emotions but what has changed is I no longer act on autopilot. I have learned to where I was blocked and healed those parts of my self so I can begin the medicine work of reprogramming my old patterns, changing my limiting beliefs and make more conscious choices that help me get closer to my dreams.
“My story, my stuff” used to rule my life. Like you I too experienced a few painful & wounding events which I believed were all in my past. I thought since they were in the past I had moved on from them. Funny thing though, I came to discover that these past events were still very much alive. When I started looking closer at myself I realized that I my patterns, beliefs and actions, or non-actions were all formed from these wounding events. My interaction with the world in fear mode because I wanted to make sure I would never experience those emotions and feeling ever, I didn’t want to feel that hurt and pain ever. It all came down to protecting myself, yes it came from a place of love, but I soon realized this plan of mine had a negative effect.
All the good I felt I was doing for myself in the end had the exact opposite results. I ended up putting myself in a box, living a half-ass-life in fear. When I started my self-discovery and healing journey what I found underneath “my cover up” was surprising. I was someone who thought they were not good enough; jealous & envious of others success; afraid of making a mistake or failing; wore a mask to hide my true feelings; unresolved emotions like anger and sadness; floated through life without purpose; lived a lot in my head to escape and was afraid to open up or let people get close. How could I not have seen all this? Well remember I was protecting myself so I had to keep the unhealthy side-effects of my stay safe plan hidden.
Wow it was mind blowing! I limited my life so much. My situation all began to make sense now, how this plan to keep me safe was the reason I was struggling financially, I had low self-worth, I didn’t have many close friends, I was unable to trust myself and others; I avoided things that I would fail at. I always thought my problems were outside me, I was a victim of circumstances. But I no longer believe this.
I realized this old plan was no longer working for me, so I decided I had to become a fearless soul. One who learns and finds the teachings from these so called wounding events. I could no longer see myself as a victim. I had to face my fears and take my life back. I did have control of my circumstances. I was in charge of my destiny. I’ve learned, evolved and healed a lot on this journey. I’ve changed many of my stories, I now take more risks, I am able to be vulnerable, I’ve created more meaningful relationships, I face the things that used to scared me.
I didn’t do this 100% on my own. I’ve had many amazing teachers along the way. I have gained and acquired many tools that have helped me get to where I am so today. But what really made the difference was I did the work. I took action to change my patterns, beliefs and faced my fears.
So I am not perfect, that’s so liberating to finally be able to be OK with this. I don’t always have it all together and I am totally not healed. But that’s OK. What’s important to me is I keep working on myself, working for my healed outcome. I look forward to my next healing evolution.
If you’d love to work with someone who’s a great listener, passionate about sharing what they’ve learned and understands that we are not our wounds then I would love to work with you.
I create a safe, compassionate and caring space for people to share, let go, cry, learn and heal so they can evolve into who they are meant to be.
If you feel we’d be a great match. I would love to work with you.
Chi Meegwetch (Algonquin word for Thank You)